I found this on another site and thought it was really funny. (maybe its just because I own a dane) Regardless, I loved it.
You know you are a Great Dane owner when…
-your dog woke you up in the middle of the night to warn you of the dangers of a kitchen chair, then (a week later) slept through the theft of your valuables
-you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are
-you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch
-you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty
-visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively
-you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway
-you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns
-you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling
-you avoid the dog on your way out the door, so she won't smear your makeup
-the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose
-your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation
-your dog sticks her head out of the car window in the drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change.
-you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television
-your dog farted loudly, then chased her butt to find out where the noise came from
guests tell your dog to "sit," and he/she immediately sits – on them
-you wish someone would make a rawhide bone that would last more than 5 minutes
-you have not been able to navigate through your house in a straight line for years
-you really can blame rude noises on the dog
-your dog backs up out of small rooms
-you have bruises on your thighs from that weird leaning thing he does
-the term "lap dog" takes on a whole new meaning
-you begin referring to smaller dogs as "treats on feet"
-you have saved your dog from being wedged under a coffee table
-you issue athletic cups at your front door to all male visitors
-you do a small correction on your friend's little dog and it flies up in the air
and......
Answers to questions that Dane owners always get asked…
Q: "How did he get soooo big?"
A: "We put Miracle Grow in his water."
Q: "Do you have a saddle for that thing?"
A: "Oh no, he's been trained to carry me in his mouth."
Q: "What kind of dog is that?"
A: "It's not really a dog, it's a Holstien. He's just a little confused."
Q: "How much does he eat?"
A: "Two kids a week"
Q: "Why is he so big?"
A: "We live near a nuclear power plant."
Q: "Does he bite?"
A: "Only on Tuesdays. Oops, that's today, isn't it?"
Q: "How much does he eat?"
A: "How much do you weigh?"
Q: "Can I ride him?"
A: "No, he charges too much"
Q: "What do you feed a 150-pound dog?"
A: "Anything he wants."
Q: "Have you fed that thing today?"
A: "Why? Are are you missing a kid?"
