Stories

I posted this once, but somehow by trying to add to it, blogger crashed and deleted it. So I'm adding it again. :)

First, a little explanation. I find myself often telling stories about the people I meet while at work, school, and home. Granted, I have to be careful and not get myself into trouble by using too much detail. but, some stories are just funny and I'd like to remember them. So this is my place to do that. Also, I'll edit some stories to keep them 'PG.' But there are a few the kids might not need to fully understand yet. :)

1. Jenna already posted about this but It was too funny. I asked Zoey and Jenna if they would help me out with my EMT homework. This consisted of pretending to be injured while I did an assessment on them. I went through a few questions with Zoey, like, "tell me what happened" and "where does it hurt" She told me that someone "hitted" her (remember this is pretend folks) in the tummy. I asked her when this happened and she looked at me a little confused, I said, "did this happen today, or yesterday..?"
"Tomorrow" she said.
I finished doing the assessment with her and she wanted to play with my blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. When I told her I still needed them to "fix" her mommy, she ran to the other room and grabbed the toy dr. kit that Colby used to play with growing up. She got everything out and wanted to fix up mommy herself. When she got to the toy thermometer she asked me, "do you stick this in your mouth?"
"sometimes" I said.
 She then turned to Jenna and told her to open up, "lets see how much you weigh."

2. This one happened recently. I was working on a newborn boy that had mom, dad, and little sister waiting with us in the room for him. The dad asked the little sister (who was just starting to put short sentences together) if they should grab a bite to eat after this.
Little Girl: yes, baby brother?
Dad: ya, lets get baby brother a bite to eat too.
Little Girl: (nodding excitedly) mommy's boobie, bite??
The mom looked mortified, the dad laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh too.

3. And elderly man came in a while back. From the initial conversation I had with him, he seemed like he was having... lets say... a bit of a rough day, or few weeks. I asked him to have a seat and he immediately interrupted with, "you're gonna miss!!!!" I wasn't sure how serious he was, so I politely smiled back and said something like, "Well I hope not. I'll do my best." He decided to finally sit down, and I turned to grab the tubes I needed when I felt this *yank* on the back of my head. The guy PULLED my hair!! which was followed by, "You're gonna miss!!" I got my supplies ready and he kept going, "You're gonna miss!!" I decided to not respond to that after the first 3 times he said it. I pulled the needle cover off and was about to stick him, when he started to yell! Right as I stuck him he flinched, so of course I missed.

4. I hesitate posting this one for some reason, but, oh well. A man comes in to get a whole slew of STD tests run. The paperwork didn't have a diagnosis on it, which we need to enter into the computer. He was told to have a seat while we run check with admitting to see if they missed the diagnosis.

tech: One second, I'm going to check on a diagnosis.
Man: I'll give you a diagnosis, how about my wife's a cheating whore!!
tech: um... I don't think we can write that...

5. While doing a Clinical for my CNA I was caring for a cute, white haired elderly woman with a little bit of dementia. ;)  I was helping her use the rest room. (Jane for this story) While she was mid, "business..."
Jane: HEY!!!
Me: Yes Jane?
Jane: I GOTTA PEE!!
Me: I know Jane, You're going right now.
Jane: ..... (looks down)..... Oh....
I helped her back to her chair and as I walked away she yells, "HEY YOUNG lady YOU get back here and take me to the TOILET, its been WEEKS!!!" 

6. While visiting my Brother in AZ. Jake made some delicious chocolate chip cookies. We were all sitting out on the patio talking when Linc came running out, "hey guys, hey guys, you know what those cookies are?"  We were mid conversation so no one really paid any attention at the moment so he said it again, "hey guys, hey guys, you know what those cookies are?" "no, what are they linc?"
"AWESOME!!"

7. I stole this one from Lex, hope she doesn't mind. ;)

Jakey asked "When is Uncle Jake coming?"
Lex said "Wednesday"
Jakey asked "What about Aunt Karleigh?"
"She's coming on Wednesday too.  Jake and Karleigh are married, so anytime Jake comes Karleigh will come with him and anytime Karleigh comes Jake will come with her."
Jacob thought about it then squealed, "And thats LOVE!"  :)

8. On our trip to visit family this past week, we stopped in to visit Grandma Frazier. We were all in the car when Grandma asked Jake what kind of car we rented.  "Its a Hyundai" he said.

Then Jakey chimed in from the back seat, "um, what do we do on hun-day?"

9. After dinner with Grandma, we played a game of Rummikub. during the game I noticed Jakey was squirming a little and I smelt a little something. So I leaned over and whispered, "Jakey, do you need to use the restroom?"

He quietly replied, "No, I just have flatulence." and went back to playing with his tiles.